As usual, in my case, it was rather simple but really unpuzzled lots of question marks and shook away lots of blur!

 

He was talking about Decision making and how at one point one can decide to delete a line of production or not, accept a sales offer or not...he explained the criteria by which we could judge then decide...he stopped for a second and said:

 

" Even in your personal life you should have relevant criteria. Sometimes I meet Great business men and managers who at one point fail to make a decision...they would look hesitant, right there and then I know that the sharp clear criteria in their brain isn't set...it is where we all have our standards of right and wrong, 7alal and 7aram...when it's clear, we take seconds to decide. and when we feel hesitant, we should stop, value and set our criteria...decisions would come naturally assertive then."

 

As he said those words I smiled as I felt my light bulb moment.

I saw scraps of situations when i was all blurry and defused yet took actions with   indecisiveness and without any clear knowledge of what I Should do...in most cases that was when my heart desires something...I loose control over my head then. I've always, and after i passed the experiences, thought to myself...how could I!!

Now I know how could I...I had no clear criteria to base my judgments upon...and I had no Idea that I had no criteria then nor that my heart interacts with my mind and shuts it off.

 

What's fascinating is that realizing that and only realizing regain the control over both parties and answers the questions why and provide extra tools for future assertiveness.

 

I know I won't be able to elaborate nor articulate about how the light bulb moment felt or what did it mean to me.

I'm marking the moment with a great feeling that I'm thankful and grateful for the extra supply of moral ammunition I was blessed to gather.

 

And BTW, Managerial accounting is actually interesting!

I won't be bragging or exaggerating if I would say that both my son and daughter are very innocent polite kids (8&6) who haven't been messed up in the brains by Arabic series and PlayStation games with all due respect to kids who have.

 

They are more into ordinary moderate super hero toys...cartoons and games of moderate nature...they read...play and make up stories...and of course quarrel all the time.

 

They like school...ever since they've been to a school...and that for hassan and Jomana since they were 3.9 years old.

 

For the first time EVER has hassan cried because he didn't want to go to school...last night he was so nervous...crying over trivial silly stuff...I knew something else was wrong and he wasn't talking...after cooling him down he confided in me and said that a new class mate has beaten the hell out of him...punches, kicks and that that was very hard...not like other boy stuff that happens all the time at school.

 

I soothed him then asked: have you hit him back ?

He said: No, you said never to hit anyone...besides, I was really hurting.

I asked: Did you tell your teacher?

He replied: It was during the break and i saw Mr. .... (the school's Manager) I told him so he said: go beat him up

I was like WHAT?!! but fe serry 2olt 7agat keteer tanya!

I knew then I had to reply according to his best interest yet not give up what i think is right as a rule...

I said: Look Hassan, you have to know that strength is actually in the brains and personality not in being violent! and avoiding school and the boy is only gonna make u weaker...would u want that??? he nodded that NO!

I continued: what i think you should do is that you should trust that you are very strong both physically and mentally and you're gonna use that...I want you to call your friends Y and O then talk to the kid...tell him you will not allow him to be that bad any more...tell him you have told your mom and the manager and you would've hit him harder but you chose not to because you wanted to give him a chance to be a good boy and your friend...be firm...look him in the eye and sharpen ur tune.

He asked: what if he hit me hard again anyway?

I had to say: HIT BACK!

He said: but he will keep beating me

I said: beat him back...men defend themselves when they have to and that doesn't mean they won't be hit...but then...u won't feel bad and hurt as u do now...u can handle that pain more than this...yet again, and concentrate on what i'm saying cause i will not allow any other action, you will talk to him as agreed with the intention of making him a good boy to be your friend.

He agreed...smiled as he liked the idea and slept next to me...

My heart ached...I was worried...Life can ruin what I'm trying to teach my kids and i can't do much about what might come their way....I could be wrong and my boy will be a wuss!

I maybe right but that doesn't apply on kids without an available Dad...well, although I know that he is against hitting himself...a 100 question and lots of worries and a restless night.

I couldn't do but cuddle beside him and think...couldn't do the night routine of music, reading or using the net...nothing...my baby and that's it!

 

I'm still at work so a I gave home a call around 5 pm to ask him what has he done...He said that he didn't call his friends...talked him during the morning line, said what we agreed on...the boy stressed that he will not change what ever hassan told him and whatever he did.

yet, he didn't tell hassan a word not tried to interact with him...Hassan during Class ignored him completely.

 

What should i do??!!

What is right???

Do you men, have to beat up each other to be "Men"??

Will my advice corrupt my boy or is it staying far from trouble that will???!!

 The thought of him being hit kills me...and that thought of him hitting makes me sick!

Help...Please!

 

Well, I believe I have every right to be thrilled over any minor or major achievement I could attain.

 

Couldn't help hearing pink Floyd in the background yelling :  WE DON'T NEED NO EDUCATION :D

 

well, they got that right but in my case the issue have deeper roots and other purposes than the obvious...I did post about it though, acknowledging that my mind and spirit need to be filled with " Rasha " oriented stuff to keep my feet on the ground...Things I find interesting like knowledge, music and kind people surrounding me.

 

The type of tenderness I need right now is what would come from within and happens - for a change - to be in my best interest...and the type I could find in people who are wise yet pure as children.

 

And to highlight the event that has more in it than what meets the eye...

 

Last May I set a goal and it was to embrace my passion...and recently I've expanded the goals...I've also promised myself a reward If i could accomplish the following in a year Insha' Allah:

And the prize is a trip to Italy :)

Far fetched ha??!! well, I don't believe so, not anymore.

 

I've realized - and luckily it's not too late - that passion, that thing inside me that most defines who i am, isn't so scary after all...won't tame me...doesn't contradict - like i once believed - with the kindness i hope is in me.

Passion is the purist value in the world...it's the drive that makes a person in harmony with the universe and what makes sense every insane urge.

 

It's what makes a voice tremble yet sing and melt away the pain...it's what makes people as various and colorful as they are bond without reason into understanding and love.

 

It's like having a universe within you....able to contain all diversities and challenges.

 

We stumble, may fall...yet life...is so much bigger than a pit and a scratch...it is as rich as we would want it to be.

 

bas!